How to Create Boundaries with ADHD

There are so much to talk about when we discuss boundaries. This is something that I have never known much about until I was in my late 30’s. Yes, can you actually believe it….late 30’s. 

Well, there is no better time than now to ensure that boundaries are in place for different things, tasks, and people. 

Whewwwwww!!! Let me tell you about this message today is going to be an absolute eye-opener when you didn’t think it would be. 

             

                         Photo by Mathieu Stern on Unsplash

Past Life as a Kid, Teen, and Young Adult

In the past, I had no filter at all when it came to speaking up for myself. I was a little fireball. Ok, not much has changed except the year and my maturity level. 

As a child have no boundaries because they live life with no regrets. They don’t have to think about what they want to do. They will just see something that looks and go have fun. They will see something that they want to create and create it. There were no boundaries. 

As a teen, there were boundaries to an extent. There were no boundaries regarding having many friends or making the highest grades. There were boundaries when it came to curfews and being at certain places. There were also boundaries on where one could drive their car as a teen and how long they could stay out. 

As young adult, there were very limited boundaries, unless you still lived with your parents. There were limited boundaries where you could drive where you wanted to drive, and choose what college courses you wanted to choose. There are boundaries of discernment and being mature within independence. 

Now, as an adult there are unlimited boundaries. The caveat to this is that other adults know that you have unlimited boundaries. This allows people to take your kindness as a weakness. They will need someone to talk to, lean on, and put their 50 pounds of burdens on. Most likely, you will take it because it’s hard to say No all the time or you don’t want them to feel a certain way towards you. 

This is something that I have dealt with until the last couple of years, but it’s a growing process. I have always taken on the burdens of others and could not separate my priorities from implementing others with mine. Now, the time has changed and I enforce a separation amongst the two. 

Now, I have learned and teach others to create a balance and prioritize yourself first. This is something that I am stepping out to not just learn, but do. 

4 Ways to Create Boundaries

There are 4 ways that I have utilized to create boundaries in life. It really took time to learn and unlearn my continued act of kindness that led me to having a peace of mind. 

1. Meditate- Meditation is the key to clearing the mind and balancing chakras within the body. This allows complete clarity of decisions. 
2. Say “NO”-This can be so easy for some, yet so difficult for others. The thing about saying no is that some people feel they owe an explaination as to why they are telling the other person no. Ughhhhh, NO you do not owe anyone anything. You can tell someone NO…you should tell someone no without any regrets.
3. Ignore negativity and replace with positivity: This says it all. If there is someone that is constantly bringing negativity to you. It could be about you or they have a lot of negativity in them. It is imperative to flip their negativity to positivity. In example, they are telling you how crappy their job is and about the people there. You can say , Dang, that’s not cool, but at lease you have a great paying job. 
4. Walk away and Remove Yourself from anything that doesn’t serve You- This simply means to remove yourself from anything that isn’t going to be beneficial and/or prosperous for you.                                                                  

Final Thoughts

Boundaries are so important in life and especially in the life of a person with ADHD. 

In my ADHD mind, I am an empath and want to help so many, but tend to be a disservice to myself by not putting up boundaries. 

There is nothing wrong with doing for others, but ensure that you do for yourself first. 

Don’t give from your cup that’s half empty or half full. Put up your wall of what you will and will not do. 

Take care of you and your mind will be clear of direction.