Death is unexpected, even when expected. Over the last week, I have been in a grieving state of mind mixed with trauma and everything else in life.
It has been such an emotional uphill battle that I gave up on sorting the emotions. Instead, I became very calm. I silenced my mind and just let go.
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting memories of a loved one, but for me, I had to let everything out of my mind and deal with grief by itself.
People with ADHD experience grief in a completely different way.
Loss is like the ground shifting under your feet, but you never have a chance to catch your breath since your world is already a bit off-kilter.
In one moment, you're in the zone, rearranging bookshelves at two in the morning, trying to channel all that racing adrenaline.
The next moment, you're standing in the grocery store's cereal aisle, staring blankly at the shelves, totally lost.
Your brain is rushing through the highs and lows of a rollercoaster without a seatbelt.
Believe me, I understand.
Grief is not just accelerated by ADHD, but it also provides us with special coping mechanisms that can help us weather the storm if utilized correctly.
As people with ADHD, we need to be honest about what grief looks like and how we may turn that chaotic energy to help ourselves heal.
Pros of ADHD in Grief:
Hyperfocus as a Distraction: When the grief hits hard, diving into something that demands my full attention can be a lifeline. For me, talking about funny memories and looking through pictures of a loved one is helping with the healing process.
ADHD’s hyperfocus gives us the ability to block everything out and pour our energy into something meaningful, even if it’s just for a while.
Innovative Problem-Solving: ADHD minds are always working extra hard and coming up with strange thoughts. Grieving can be a time when this creativity can be an asset Creativity sparks in the most unique ways during such a difficult time. It is our method of maximizing the grief and turning the gloom into something lovely.
Cons of ADHD in Grief:
Emotional Overwhelm: When grief strikes, it can feel like you're trapped in an emotional tsunami since ADHD makes it difficult to control emotions. Emotions can become difficult to control and manifest as waves of anger, grief, or irritation because our brains don't always filter them effectively. When your emotions seem to be getting out of control, it can be difficult to manage them.
Forgetfulness: Grief already impairs mental clarity, but when ADHD is added, forgetfulness is inevitable. You have no idea how many times I've double-booked myself or lost things of importance because I simply couldn't keep track of everything. It seems as though the minor details are overlooked, which worsens the guilt currently there.
Coping Strategies:
Label Your Feelings: Identifying grief is the first step to managing it with ADHD. Recognizing your emotions might help you relax. Give your challenges a name by using apps, mood monitors, or even a simple diary. It's a method of saying to your brain, "Hey, I see you." I won't ignore this. Just giving your emotions a name may make them feel a little more manageable.
Micro-Routines: Pay attention to the small things when everything seems out of hand. Give your teeth a brush. Prepare your tea in the morning. You can find calm in a chaotic environment by focusing on the little things. These seemingly small habits might help your brain stay grounded and offer a sense of regularity.
Therapeutic Hyperfocus: To cope with your loss, make use of your ADHD hyperfocus. Take up any project that lets you channel your emotions into something constructive, such as journaling or crafting. You can stay occupied without suppressing your feelings by allowing your sorrow to inspire your creativity.
Final Thoughts
ADHD makes grieving anything but simple. It's an unpredictable, frequently disorganized, and almost endless trip to understand.
The problem is that there can be clarity within such confusion.
Embrace your ADHD brain in all its uniqueness; it can hold the key to healing.
Therefore, don't be afraid to embrace the chaos.
Find your rhythm, ride it out, and make use of the resources your brain provides to get through and thrive.
You never know—someone else might find the light in your experience.
What has been your go-to strategy for overcoming grief?
Thank you for taking the time to read my article. I appreciate you taking the time to read, highlight, and just comment on the article. Please share this article with someone that you think can benefit and subscribe to my newsletter in my bio for more about homeschooling with ADHD and ADHD tips.
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